Hair Care Routine

One of the questions I get asked the most frequently is what I do to my hair to get it long and keep it healthy. It's been a lifelong process of trying to figure out what works, and after two shoulder-length haircuts that were colossal mistakes (I just do not look good with short hair), I found some tips and tricks that helped me grow my hair out and keep it from looking like witch hair (this is a legitimate concern).

Hair care starts in the shower. First, I only wash my hair probably 3-4 out of seven days. Not only is it a huge hassle to do all of this nightly, but it also dries everything out, which is not great.

I've tried vinegar rinses, masks, and a million shampoos. I don't think it really matters what shampoo you use as long as it isn't a dollar bottle or one of those weird 6-in-1 deals that dudes use. I opt for either Pantene Pro-V or the Garnier Grow Strong shampoo and conditioner. Again, I don't see the point in paying $20 for a bottle of shampoo, but you do you. So I start with washing it and rinsing, and then I put on the conditioner and leave it set while I do everything else. Then rinse with cold water only. It seals your cuticles and makes it shiny.

Once I'm done with that process, I'll either scrunch my hair (more on that another time) or just typically opt to style it. First, do not come your hair wet. DO NOT. I just spritz on this USmooth heat protectant spray which is $20 but also lasts for like six months or more, and my hair's long. It smells amazing and essentially works as a leave-in conditioner as well as a thermal spray.

I leave my hair air dry (unless I'm going somewhere and only have an hour from the time I step in the shower until the time I walk out the door (I try REALLY hard not to ever have this happen because it sucks)). I don't wrap it in a towel. There was a period of time I noticed a lot of little breakaway fuzzies around my hairline if I wore it up, and that look is cute on babies but not on me, so no more of that. I might blast it with a dryer a bit the next morning if it's still a little damp, and then after that I just use my flat iron to smooth and flip the ends.

Ta-da!

Top Eight Autumnal Haunts

Hello friends! Happy Halloween from thee worst blogger. The goal is to post a bit more regularly, but for those of you who have stuck around through the eight month dry spell, thank you!

I am taking today, the Saturday before Halloween, to share with you my favorite haunts of all time. If you don't mind the incessant rain we've been getting out here, I highly recommend the trip.

So, here are my Top Eight Autumnal Haunts:

1) Demon House: This is my all-time favorite haunted house. It's out in Monongahela, PA, down a bunch of winding back roads. Literally every time we go, it is raining and cold, which adds to the appeal. It has an outside area, a bonfire, and a screen that shows scary movies. If you get the Groupon, you also get a ticket for a little hot chocolate. Shelley makes fun of me for this every time, but I can't not bring that up, even if it is just Swiss Miss in a styrofoam cup. Apart from that, though, the actual haunted house (no, really, there is a legend you can read here ) is fantastic. The workers are very in-character, and it's the only haunted house that I went to this year that made me scream out loud instead of just jump and laugh. 

2) Kennywood Park Phantom Fright Nights: I love Kennywood Park. Located in West Mifflin, PA, it's a haunt I've gone to every year since high school. There are several haunted houses to go through, and most of the rides are open as well. The houses are all fun, but there's only one I remember being truly scary. Regardless, it's a nice excuse to go back through the park after the disgusting humidity of summer has dissipated.

3) Scarehouse: I have only been to this twice, but the most recent was this year. I went in undergrad and had to wait nearly two hours to get inside, so I was salty and unamused by the time I walked through the house-- especially after driving to Etna. This past time, we went in mid-September when it first opened, so all of the workers were highly engaged and it was scary as well as long. Nothing is more annoying in haunted house land than going through a house that is brief and lame.

4) Soergel's Orchard: I used to go here with my family as a kid, and the apple at the entrance always seemed enormous. Now I realize I was just very small. There is a cute country store, a winery, a greenhouse, and a little market. Hayrides take you to the pumpkin patch, and you can go apple picking. They also have trivia nights at the Arsenal Cider House. The highlight last year was being transfixed and watching apples be mushed up to become apple cider.

5) Eastern State Pentitentiary: I went here in undergrad as well, and it may be one of the best (behind Demon House) that I've done. It's apparently really haunted, so everyone was taking pictures and looking for orbs, but it was equally creepy to see some OG electric chairs and Al Capone's old cell. Philly is a pretty historic city, so it wouldn't be surprising if there were some real ghosts floating around.

6) Nightmare at the Canfield Scaregrounds: I always enjoy this one, although this year they did away with the creepy slide down the bleachers (after Shelley, Erica, and I clunked heads last year like the Three Stooges, I can see why-- I KNOW we weren't the only people who did that, but it was still fun). There are always six or seven features, including a hay ride. Some of them are scary, some are more giggle-inducing. This past year, Shelley and I followed some friends through and got to laugh at them leap away from a person in a polka-dotted bodysuit stepping away from a polka-dotted wall. Shelley and I go to this one traditionally, so even though we won't be roped into the Zombie Paintball again (seriously, don't waste your time), the rest of it was hokey and entertaining. If you live anywhere near Canfield, OH, I highly recommend it.

7) Gettysburg: This is allegedly one of the most haunted cities in America, so it belongs on this list. I went in summer, and Devil's Den definitely felt like hell-- it was so damn hot. Over the course of the few days I was there, I went on 2-3 ghost tours. The Candlelit Walking Tour was fantastic. One of the tours gave you little gear like you were on some paranormal show. I felt like I should've been filmed in night vision or something, but I did get a little action on the radar while we were walking through a cemetery. Spooky and historic.

8) Janoski's: This is another one that is less scary and more just autumnal and fun. When we were little, we would get in the car and spend a day driving out, enjoying the pumpkin patch and getting a caramel apple, and then heading over to Hozak's for their fall festival as well. Cute family farm, with a store, bakery, and winery as well.

There it is. If you're looking for something to do between now and Halloween, these are all solid options. Let me know if you go and what you think! :)

Elaine

Sometimes, things happen that make you feel so small--so young.

I was 4.5 miles into a 6 mile workout tonight, uncharacteristically listening to music on my phone because my iPod battery was dead. I looked down to change the song and a text from my mum flashed across the screen:
                                                           Elaine Mulkey died.

I spent the rest of my run thinking about this person I have thought of on occasion-- most recently as part of a story my mum and I told to my girlfriend over Christmas-- but haven't seen nor spoken to since I was still wearing a school uniform.

Suddenly, I was 8 years old. I was going to my first Halloween party, at Roxanne's house, and her mom and dad had dry ice and peeled grapes and cold spaghetti-- the works. I thought it was the neatest thing, standing there with a group of shrieking girls telling ghost stories.

I was at my first sleepover, and I was allowed to bring my sister Elizabeth-- my true best friend, always included in endeavors at the Mulkey house. Flashes of birthday parties filled with Lisa Frank, Twister games, and diaries with heart shaped locks and keys. A Ouija board for the girls while my sister and I hid, holding hands, in the laundry room while Elaine folded sheets.

I was 10, and it was Easter Sunday, at sunset, and Elaine was teaching my sister and I to ride streamer-handled, glittering bicycles without training wheels while my mum and our friends looked on and the orange light settled around us. I remember whooping with joy because I would never have to pretend I wasn't in the mood to ride bikes again. I was struck by the fact that we were spending a holiday evening with family of a different kind-- the kind you choose.

When my parents split up,  it was obviously a weird, difficult time for my mum, sister, and I. Elaine created a space for us in her life. She would stand there, dragging on a cigarette, running a tanned hand through cropped red hair, talking to my mum while my sister, Roxanne, and I would roam around the yard pretending we were the girls from "Now & Then" and eating popsicles or swimming at Elaine's mom's house.

She was unorthodox and fascinating. She was kind. She was real. She was a friend to my mother at a time when that was so, so important. I feel grateful for having had a chance to know her, and know she will find comfort with Him.

28 Things I've Learned

My birthday was nearly two weeks ago, and in the midst of candles and balloons and a giant fruit basket and my favorite dinner ever (chicken penne gorgonzola-- thanks Mum!), I was feeling very reflective, as one does during birthdays. As such, I decided to write a post about things I've learned over the course of my life so far. Twenty-eight things, to be exact-- things that, whether good or bad, have shaped me.

1) Be kind-- it is the simplest gift you can give, both to yourself and to others.

2) Be thankful for what you have-- no matter how bad things seem, it could always be much, much worse.

3) Music is good for the soul. It elates you when you're already happy, it's cathartic when you need a good cry, and playing music/singing makes me more overjoyed than I could explain.

4) This world is a beautiful place-- take care of it. It's really not hard to throw away trash or make an effort to conserve a little bit.

5) Reading is the window to the world. You may not be able to afford to travel, but by opening a book and immersing yourself in its pages, you'll still see the world.

6) Sarcasm is a way of life.

7) I still hate coffee...and mashed potatoes.

8) I haven't found a better substitute for deep thinking than a long run outdoors.

9) Not everyone is going to like you, and that's okay. The people who do are the ones who matter.

10) I used to think changing the world had to be BIG and all at once. Now I see that we can all change our small corner of the world, a bit at a time, and if we try, it can make a difference.

11) Writing is my favorite form of self-expression, followed closely by art and music.

12) You're never as broken as you seem, and the people who matter are the ones who carry you through murky waters.

13) Taking time for yourself is so important, even if it's only a few moments a day, or if you're rocking out to music while you're drying your hair and singing into your hairbrush.

14) No one is ever that busy-- take some time to put down your phone, unplug, and just be. 

15) My sister gets me in a way no one else ever has-- having a solid relationship with someone who has known you your entire life is so, so important.

16) My mum is everything I want to be.

17) Take good care of yourself-- wash your face, wear sunscreen, floss... you only get one body.

18) Drink water, all day, every day.

19) God is so incredibly good-- take time to appreciate all He has given you.

20) Teaching is an important profession-- it's not just English or math or social studies. You have access to the secret lives of 130 kids at a time, and in addition to imparting knowledge on them in a basic sense, you also get to help mold them into decent human beings with a respect for one another and the world around them. It's pretty cool.

21) True, unconditional, soulmates-level love is real. I've witnessed it, and I've experienced it.

22) Compromise is essential in any type of relationship-- it's essential to listen to one another.

23) If I didn't have Shelley/my mum over the course of my life to provide cooked meals, I would just eat cereal/salads forever. I despise cooking.

24) You control who is and who isn't a part of your life. Eliminate negativity. It doesn't matter if someone has been in your life for 10 years or is related to you or anything else-- if you are unhappy, you can change that. Furthermore, there are friends and family members worth holding on to. Appreciate them and make sure they know.

25) I spent nearly 12 years working in the service industry, and 7 of those years were at the same place. When you go out to eat, just sit in the booth you're given-- you aren't moving in, it's an hour meal. Be considerate-- you are going out to be served food, not to treat people like they are your servants. And if you are going out, tip. Oh, and no speakerphone in public-- no one wants to hear your conversations. If you don't know how to be respectful and kind, just stay home, please.

26) Do one nice thing every single day-- even if it is as simple as paying a compliment or holding a door. A smile makes a world of difference.

27) I've always marched to the beat of my own drum, but when I was younger I had moments when I wished I wasn't QUITE so original. Being unique is awesome-- don't ever change or compromise who you are to fit a societal mold. You are wonderfully, fearfully made. BE YOURSELF.

28) Life is beautiful, but it is also brief. Being in shape or on time or the most popular person on social media is not as important as being happy and enjoying the ride. Cake is good. Buy the book or the shirt. Go on the trip. Cliche or not, you'll always regret not experiencing something wonderful over skipping out so you could work out or play around on Snapchat.

September, At Last

It's finally September, friends.

When I was little, my mum would read me this story all the time called A Bear for All Seasons. Basically, this bear and this fox are friends and they talk about the awesomeness of all of the different seasons while they try to decide which is best.

I feel like that bear.

I love the twinkling lights and sparkling snow and the bustle of Christmas, but once that dies down, winter in the 'Burgh is just...well, blah. It's grey and more rainy than anything with biting cold winds and random 65 degree days.

Spring comes and brings all of these gorgeous flowers and the long-missing sunshine, and it's great until it rains and I just want summer and sundresses and front porches and outdoor concerts.

Scarecrows on the shelf-- not too early :)

That wears out after a while too, and I find myself missing falling multicolored leaves, pumpkins, flannels, bonfires, and that hay/dirt/rain smell. I love fall. We aren't quite there yet, but as soon as it was September (the best of all months, and not just because it's my birth month), the weather seemed to know it was time to cool down. I had a hard time not busting out sweaters, and Shelley and I definitely got a little carried away with pumpkin-spice-scented pinecones and a little scarecrow girl who resembles me, right down to the overall dress.

I look forward to the possibilities that come with this autumn season. I've started my new jobs, and I have a classroom full of students to shape into better readers and writers, sure, but also just decent human beings. If they leave my room learning to connect to others and be compassionate, the literature has served its purpose-- and so have I.

Yesterday, I went out to Y-town with Shelley to see her younger sister and nephew, and we took them to a market and played around outside in the drizzle, then adventured to the park. It was so freeing to be able to run and explore (in spite of my frizzy braid) and enjoy the weather and nature together. I encourage you to get outside and just be. Winter rolls in pretty quickly in the mid-Atlantic states, so I'm taking advantage of the beautiful days as much as I can. Also, the photography options are great!

My best little pal

It was overcast or drizzling most of the day, so I left my hair curly and put my barn coat (a Kmart special from when I was 12) on over my flannel shirt and these most comfortable jeans from Dottie Couture Boutique. Dottie is my favorite store, and they also are doing something called Dottie Cares-- basically each month they donate proceeds to a different cause, which is super cool and another good reason to shop small versus at a chain.

It was a good day for Vans, even though as I was chasing Trent and Shelley over the loamy grass I wished I were barefoot. We were slaying dragons (aka Shelley) at the White House Fruit Farm and scouting out lions, sharks, and polar bears at the park. Also, while we were hiking we found a couple of different rocks. The first one I saw tucked into a tree's roots, painted blue and green like the Earth and it said "Peace," which made me smile. The second one, Shelley and Trent found. It's part of some social media campaign to brighten people's days, so we moved them somewhere else for people to find! It's definitely one of those things that sounds sort of cheesy until you experience it, believe me.

Happy Labor Day, everyone. Hopefully you're all enjoying the long weekend. I'll be trying (rather unsuccessfully) to refrain from all things apple/pumpkin/flannel as we segue into fall.

Summer Update

It’s been quite a summer. There have been plans made, plans cancelled (RIP the vacation that never was), and me skidding to the end of it by the skin of my teeth. However, I am celebrating the end of summer with a new job (yay!) so now that I’m not riddled with anxiety about the coming school year, I can relax a bit and write with more regularity.

I tried to curl my hair...and failed.

Although I spent many of my days at home, reading in the sunshine (while still maintaining a translucent complexion), our evenings were full of an array of things that kept us busy, whether it was little things like a gorgeous sunset with deep talks on the porch, meeting with friends, or going to shows. 

Point State Park

Early in the summer, we went to the Three Rivers Arts Festival downtown with our friends Anthony and Dylan, watched fireworks (no one finds prime fireworks spots like those two), and of course Giovanni's pizza. 

I liked the nights we stayed at home and played games on the back porch, or baked cookies and (WHYYYY am I admitting this?) watching "The Bachelorette". 

Lake Life

We went fishing at Raccoon Park a few times, with not much luck. Shelley's joke was that I spent more time feeding the fish than actually catching any, because I would (correction: she would) bait my hook, and then five minutes later, after a slight tug, I'd reel in to find the worm missing. 

Fish, where are you?!

We decided to go in a boat one day towards the end of June, hoping to catch fish if we were actually out in the middle rather than off to the sides. Our only option was a rowboat, and I confidently claimed we could handle it. I'm not one to admit defeat, so rather than wait hours for a motorboat, we wandered to the dock and Shelley took the position of more experienced rower (let's be real-- neither of us are experienced rowers but she is strong so she was in charge of rowing). 

NKOTB

After a bit of rowing in circles and me laughing so hard I nearly rolled out of the boat, we got the hang of it, got caught in the rain, and managed to row back to shore! Still no fish though. Honestly, I wouldn't know what to do if I did catch a fish, so I'm okay with that. 

Me & my little dude

We went to a concert I never imagined I would witness-- New Kids on the Block with Paula Abdul and Boyz II Men. Shelley's sister/nephew got us tickets for Christmas. I knew a few Boyz II Men songs, but not much from NKOTB, and the only thing I knew about Paula besides "Straight Up" was her odd manner of clapping when she was an "American Idol" judge. I ended up being pleasantly surprised by the show. I'd never been to any of the boy band shows (my boy band was the OG boy band-- The Beatles), so I was pretty entertained by the choreography. 

Sisters <3 

#palepeopleproblems

Independence Day dawned beautiful and sunny, and I had the brilliant idea of a picnic for our families-- games, burgers, and everyone together.

Shelley's youngest sister and her nephew came out from OH, and my mum, sister, and her boyfriend came out too. We had amazing food, because even 4th of July tradition gets elevated when my girlfriend does the cooking, and played games in the yard. All the siblings drove out to Moon to watch the fireworks together, and my sister played paparazzi to commemorate the event.

Of course we went to see Jane Lynch sing with the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra (see prior posts), which was the most random thing I think we did all summer. 'Twas enjoyable nonetheless.

Mum, me, and Shells at a Pirates game 

Shelley is the queen of spontaneous happenings/finding great tickets on Craigslist (I feel like all I would ever find on Craigslist would be an ax murderer), so on her days off, there is usually a "Hey, do you want to do ______ today?" at 6:30am as I grumble and try to sleep. One day, I was awakened to text my mum and invite her to a Pirates game. We were all really excited about going out together, the day was lovely and clear, and we had great seats. Cut to an hour later, and the sun is in full force, the breeze is gone, and it is HOT, which is not cute. We abandoned the good seats and stood in the shade after a few innings, but still had a blast!

Disastrous braid courtesy of scorching day!

Another random outing we had was to see Ru Paul's contestants do drag at the Byham. Shelley and I watched the season and when we saw the tickets on Groupon, we decided to check it out.

Honey Lake Boutique dress 

We stopped at the Social House for a drink and dinner beforehand and then went to see the show. It was as entertaining as I expected, and the people-watching opportunities were on point.

Amazingly, I was able to get this picture-- "Why do we have to stop where people can see us taking pictures???" Because.

At the end of July/beginning of August, we had a couple concerts coming up that seemed really far away for a really long time and crept up on us rather quickly. The first was Jimmy Eat World and Incubus. I've seen Jimmy before, and they were amazing as per usual. Incubus was a band I adored in undergrad and they played all the songs I love, including "Here in My Room," which made me absurdly happy considering how melancholy the song is.

Melissa Dunham found us!

 Equally exciting was seeing our purple-dressed friend Melissa ambling towards us through the crowd. She saw a post that we were there, sent her location via her iPhone map, and then found us (this is all very typical of Melissa). We haven't seen her in forever, and it was hilarious and wonderful. In the last year, with working two jobs and going to school, I feel like I didn't see anyone. I rarely saw Shelley some days, and we live in the same house. Being able to run into an old friend in between sets and pick up where we left off was awesome.

The rest of the summer was just little bits of loveliness, so I'm adding them scrapbook style.

Student teaching at extended school year

summer days in linen dresses

Zorro learned to jump on the couch, so it's become his new favorite place 

At the drive-in 

Summer Lovin'

We went to the drive-in a couple times. The last time we went the weather was perfect and cool, but the movies we saw were sort of a let-down (I had high expectations for "Atomic Blonde" because I spent my childhood imagining I was a female James Bond). However, there is something about sitting in your car seeing 2-3 movies for the price of one, being comfortable, being outdoors, and being united with all these people from the last 60-odd years doing the same thing on summer nights. 

I love when God gives skies that look like art.

We look like we're wearing hats. My hair, prior to humidity.

The other concert we went to was me kicking it old school again-- this time hearkening back to my high school love of Muse (Thirty Seconds to Mars was there too, but let's just say some bands are not great at singing live). It was another great night with a perfect vibe, and Muse was incredible.

So, humble readership, there's my summer of bright sides in a nutshell. Here's to posting more regularly in the future! I hope you all had a fantastic summer full of sunshine, flowers, trips, and relaxation. I'm definitely looking forward to fall and everything it holds!

P.S. Future college attendees-- do not go to RMU. Thank me later. 

Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer

Shells and I went to see the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra last night. As someone who was raised on classical music ( I met Andrea Bocelli when I was 8), I have been trying to persuade my other half of the merits of such an outing for quite some time. It wasn't until she was listening to NPR and heard Jane Lynch was singing with them that this became a true option.

"You would love this show," Shells started. "It's gonna be, you know, old-timey music," as she snapped her fingers a la jazz singers.

My response: "Jane Lynch sings?!"

I have been a fan of hers since my sister and I saw her in "Role Models," and Shells and I enjoy her weekly on "Hollywood Game Night." Admittedly, I am also a fan of the schmaltzy jazz music-- who doesn't love a little Ella or Nat King Cole?

Entering the always lavishly decadent Heinz Hall, we took our seats in anticipation (after showing Shelley the downstairs area for women, full of mirrors and long benches in case you faint from your own beauty or something). Jane Lynch emerged from stage left in a blue suit (who owns more suits-- her or Hillary???) singing "Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer." I was thoroughly amused by this, and Shelley leaned over and asked "Do you still love me?" while trying not to laugh as well.

Pale people problems...but so close!

Lynch can sing, and her accompaniment by Brad Ellis and the PSO only enhanced her tour through the Great American songbook, crooning Cole Porter and Irving Berlin before moving over to Joni Mitchell (!). Ellis compiled a medley of Mitchell songs for Lynch, and she introduced it as "This is his gift to me... and you........and us" as the music began. I emitted a loud laugh at her humor, and was entirely alone in this (which I found more hilarious (tugboat)).

One of my favorite parts of the show was how Lynch was able to come out and sing these songs to connect to a whole array of people (many of whom were over the age of 60). There was no discussion of her being a famous lesbian or anything like that. She was just a person, entertaining, and it was great.

Since the show, "Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer" has been in my head on repeat. I sang it this morning while Shells was making breakfast and she yelled, "Babe c'mon! I just got rid of it!" and I later heard her singing it under her breath.

For the show, we got a little dressed up (it is Heinz Hall, after all). I wore this little white ruffle dress I have been waiting to break out since the everlong spring that is standard Western Pennsylvania fare. It's from J&J Petite Boutique, which specializes in clothes for girls 5'4" and under. My 5'1" self is grateful for the opportunity to wear a dress in a flattering length instead of looking like a kid playing dress-up! Fellow short girls, check them out!

Hope you're all enjoying your lazy, hazy, crazy July!