28 Things I've Learned

My birthday was nearly two weeks ago, and in the midst of candles and balloons and a giant fruit basket and my favorite dinner ever (chicken penne gorgonzola-- thanks Mum!), I was feeling very reflective, as one does during birthdays. As such, I decided to write a post about things I've learned over the course of my life so far. Twenty-eight things, to be exact-- things that, whether good or bad, have shaped me.

1) Be kind-- it is the simplest gift you can give, both to yourself and to others.

2) Be thankful for what you have-- no matter how bad things seem, it could always be much, much worse.

3) Music is good for the soul. It elates you when you're already happy, it's cathartic when you need a good cry, and playing music/singing makes me more overjoyed than I could explain.

4) This world is a beautiful place-- take care of it. It's really not hard to throw away trash or make an effort to conserve a little bit.

5) Reading is the window to the world. You may not be able to afford to travel, but by opening a book and immersing yourself in its pages, you'll still see the world.

6) Sarcasm is a way of life.

7) I still hate coffee...and mashed potatoes.

8) I haven't found a better substitute for deep thinking than a long run outdoors.

9) Not everyone is going to like you, and that's okay. The people who do are the ones who matter.

10) I used to think changing the world had to be BIG and all at once. Now I see that we can all change our small corner of the world, a bit at a time, and if we try, it can make a difference.

11) Writing is my favorite form of self-expression, followed closely by art and music.

12) You're never as broken as you seem, and the people who matter are the ones who carry you through murky waters.

13) Taking time for yourself is so important, even if it's only a few moments a day, or if you're rocking out to music while you're drying your hair and singing into your hairbrush.

14) No one is ever that busy-- take some time to put down your phone, unplug, and just be. 

15) My sister gets me in a way no one else ever has-- having a solid relationship with someone who has known you your entire life is so, so important.

16) My mum is everything I want to be.

17) Take good care of yourself-- wash your face, wear sunscreen, floss... you only get one body.

18) Drink water, all day, every day.

19) God is so incredibly good-- take time to appreciate all He has given you.

20) Teaching is an important profession-- it's not just English or math or social studies. You have access to the secret lives of 130 kids at a time, and in addition to imparting knowledge on them in a basic sense, you also get to help mold them into decent human beings with a respect for one another and the world around them. It's pretty cool.

21) True, unconditional, soulmates-level love is real. I've witnessed it, and I've experienced it.

22) Compromise is essential in any type of relationship-- it's essential to listen to one another.

23) If I didn't have Shelley/my mum over the course of my life to provide cooked meals, I would just eat cereal/salads forever. I despise cooking.

24) You control who is and who isn't a part of your life. Eliminate negativity. It doesn't matter if someone has been in your life for 10 years or is related to you or anything else-- if you are unhappy, you can change that. Furthermore, there are friends and family members worth holding on to. Appreciate them and make sure they know.

25) I spent nearly 12 years working in the service industry, and 7 of those years were at the same place. When you go out to eat, just sit in the booth you're given-- you aren't moving in, it's an hour meal. Be considerate-- you are going out to be served food, not to treat people like they are your servants. And if you are going out, tip. Oh, and no speakerphone in public-- no one wants to hear your conversations. If you don't know how to be respectful and kind, just stay home, please.

26) Do one nice thing every single day-- even if it is as simple as paying a compliment or holding a door. A smile makes a world of difference.

27) I've always marched to the beat of my own drum, but when I was younger I had moments when I wished I wasn't QUITE so original. Being unique is awesome-- don't ever change or compromise who you are to fit a societal mold. You are wonderfully, fearfully made. BE YOURSELF.

28) Life is beautiful, but it is also brief. Being in shape or on time or the most popular person on social media is not as important as being happy and enjoying the ride. Cake is good. Buy the book or the shirt. Go on the trip. Cliche or not, you'll always regret not experiencing something wonderful over skipping out so you could work out or play around on Snapchat.

Summer Update

It’s been quite a summer. There have been plans made, plans cancelled (RIP the vacation that never was), and me skidding to the end of it by the skin of my teeth. However, I am celebrating the end of summer with a new job (yay!) so now that I’m not riddled with anxiety about the coming school year, I can relax a bit and write with more regularity.

I tried to curl my hair...and failed.

Although I spent many of my days at home, reading in the sunshine (while still maintaining a translucent complexion), our evenings were full of an array of things that kept us busy, whether it was little things like a gorgeous sunset with deep talks on the porch, meeting with friends, or going to shows. 

Point State Park

Early in the summer, we went to the Three Rivers Arts Festival downtown with our friends Anthony and Dylan, watched fireworks (no one finds prime fireworks spots like those two), and of course Giovanni's pizza. 

I liked the nights we stayed at home and played games on the back porch, or baked cookies and (WHYYYY am I admitting this?) watching "The Bachelorette". 

Lake Life

We went fishing at Raccoon Park a few times, with not much luck. Shelley's joke was that I spent more time feeding the fish than actually catching any, because I would (correction: she would) bait my hook, and then five minutes later, after a slight tug, I'd reel in to find the worm missing. 

Fish, where are you?!

We decided to go in a boat one day towards the end of June, hoping to catch fish if we were actually out in the middle rather than off to the sides. Our only option was a rowboat, and I confidently claimed we could handle it. I'm not one to admit defeat, so rather than wait hours for a motorboat, we wandered to the dock and Shelley took the position of more experienced rower (let's be real-- neither of us are experienced rowers but she is strong so she was in charge of rowing). 

NKOTB

After a bit of rowing in circles and me laughing so hard I nearly rolled out of the boat, we got the hang of it, got caught in the rain, and managed to row back to shore! Still no fish though. Honestly, I wouldn't know what to do if I did catch a fish, so I'm okay with that. 

Me & my little dude

We went to a concert I never imagined I would witness-- New Kids on the Block with Paula Abdul and Boyz II Men. Shelley's sister/nephew got us tickets for Christmas. I knew a few Boyz II Men songs, but not much from NKOTB, and the only thing I knew about Paula besides "Straight Up" was her odd manner of clapping when she was an "American Idol" judge. I ended up being pleasantly surprised by the show. I'd never been to any of the boy band shows (my boy band was the OG boy band-- The Beatles), so I was pretty entertained by the choreography. 

Sisters <3 

#palepeopleproblems

Independence Day dawned beautiful and sunny, and I had the brilliant idea of a picnic for our families-- games, burgers, and everyone together.

Shelley's youngest sister and her nephew came out from OH, and my mum, sister, and her boyfriend came out too. We had amazing food, because even 4th of July tradition gets elevated when my girlfriend does the cooking, and played games in the yard. All the siblings drove out to Moon to watch the fireworks together, and my sister played paparazzi to commemorate the event.

Of course we went to see Jane Lynch sing with the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra (see prior posts), which was the most random thing I think we did all summer. 'Twas enjoyable nonetheless.

Mum, me, and Shells at a Pirates game 

Shelley is the queen of spontaneous happenings/finding great tickets on Craigslist (I feel like all I would ever find on Craigslist would be an ax murderer), so on her days off, there is usually a "Hey, do you want to do ______ today?" at 6:30am as I grumble and try to sleep. One day, I was awakened to text my mum and invite her to a Pirates game. We were all really excited about going out together, the day was lovely and clear, and we had great seats. Cut to an hour later, and the sun is in full force, the breeze is gone, and it is HOT, which is not cute. We abandoned the good seats and stood in the shade after a few innings, but still had a blast!

Disastrous braid courtesy of scorching day!

Another random outing we had was to see Ru Paul's contestants do drag at the Byham. Shelley and I watched the season and when we saw the tickets on Groupon, we decided to check it out.

Honey Lake Boutique dress 

We stopped at the Social House for a drink and dinner beforehand and then went to see the show. It was as entertaining as I expected, and the people-watching opportunities were on point.

Amazingly, I was able to get this picture-- "Why do we have to stop where people can see us taking pictures???" Because.

At the end of July/beginning of August, we had a couple concerts coming up that seemed really far away for a really long time and crept up on us rather quickly. The first was Jimmy Eat World and Incubus. I've seen Jimmy before, and they were amazing as per usual. Incubus was a band I adored in undergrad and they played all the songs I love, including "Here in My Room," which made me absurdly happy considering how melancholy the song is.

Melissa Dunham found us!

 Equally exciting was seeing our purple-dressed friend Melissa ambling towards us through the crowd. She saw a post that we were there, sent her location via her iPhone map, and then found us (this is all very typical of Melissa). We haven't seen her in forever, and it was hilarious and wonderful. In the last year, with working two jobs and going to school, I feel like I didn't see anyone. I rarely saw Shelley some days, and we live in the same house. Being able to run into an old friend in between sets and pick up where we left off was awesome.

The rest of the summer was just little bits of loveliness, so I'm adding them scrapbook style.

Student teaching at extended school year

summer days in linen dresses

Zorro learned to jump on the couch, so it's become his new favorite place 

At the drive-in 

Summer Lovin'

We went to the drive-in a couple times. The last time we went the weather was perfect and cool, but the movies we saw were sort of a let-down (I had high expectations for "Atomic Blonde" because I spent my childhood imagining I was a female James Bond). However, there is something about sitting in your car seeing 2-3 movies for the price of one, being comfortable, being outdoors, and being united with all these people from the last 60-odd years doing the same thing on summer nights. 

I love when God gives skies that look like art.

We look like we're wearing hats. My hair, prior to humidity.

The other concert we went to was me kicking it old school again-- this time hearkening back to my high school love of Muse (Thirty Seconds to Mars was there too, but let's just say some bands are not great at singing live). It was another great night with a perfect vibe, and Muse was incredible.

So, humble readership, there's my summer of bright sides in a nutshell. Here's to posting more regularly in the future! I hope you all had a fantastic summer full of sunshine, flowers, trips, and relaxation. I'm definitely looking forward to fall and everything it holds!

P.S. Future college attendees-- do not go to RMU. Thank me later. 

Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer

Shells and I went to see the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra last night. As someone who was raised on classical music ( I met Andrea Bocelli when I was 8), I have been trying to persuade my other half of the merits of such an outing for quite some time. It wasn't until she was listening to NPR and heard Jane Lynch was singing with them that this became a true option.

"You would love this show," Shells started. "It's gonna be, you know, old-timey music," as she snapped her fingers a la jazz singers.

My response: "Jane Lynch sings?!"

I have been a fan of hers since my sister and I saw her in "Role Models," and Shells and I enjoy her weekly on "Hollywood Game Night." Admittedly, I am also a fan of the schmaltzy jazz music-- who doesn't love a little Ella or Nat King Cole?

Entering the always lavishly decadent Heinz Hall, we took our seats in anticipation (after showing Shelley the downstairs area for women, full of mirrors and long benches in case you faint from your own beauty or something). Jane Lynch emerged from stage left in a blue suit (who owns more suits-- her or Hillary???) singing "Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer." I was thoroughly amused by this, and Shelley leaned over and asked "Do you still love me?" while trying not to laugh as well.

Pale people problems...but so close!

Lynch can sing, and her accompaniment by Brad Ellis and the PSO only enhanced her tour through the Great American songbook, crooning Cole Porter and Irving Berlin before moving over to Joni Mitchell (!). Ellis compiled a medley of Mitchell songs for Lynch, and she introduced it as "This is his gift to me... and you........and us" as the music began. I emitted a loud laugh at her humor, and was entirely alone in this (which I found more hilarious (tugboat)).

One of my favorite parts of the show was how Lynch was able to come out and sing these songs to connect to a whole array of people (many of whom were over the age of 60). There was no discussion of her being a famous lesbian or anything like that. She was just a person, entertaining, and it was great.

Since the show, "Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer" has been in my head on repeat. I sang it this morning while Shells was making breakfast and she yelled, "Babe c'mon! I just got rid of it!" and I later heard her singing it under her breath.

For the show, we got a little dressed up (it is Heinz Hall, after all). I wore this little white ruffle dress I have been waiting to break out since the everlong spring that is standard Western Pennsylvania fare. It's from J&J Petite Boutique, which specializes in clothes for girls 5'4" and under. My 5'1" self is grateful for the opportunity to wear a dress in a flattering length instead of looking like a kid playing dress-up! Fellow short girls, check them out!

Hope you're all enjoying your lazy, hazy, crazy July!

For Tomboys Who Sometimes Go Glam

I’ve always thought of myself as kind of a tomboy—not the rough & tumble athletic type, but the Vans and t-shirt kind of girl who can’t be bothered with manicures or purses (what would I even put inside?!) or keeping up with the latest makeup trends. I’m too busy and too laid back for that. In the cooler months, a cardigan or a flannel is my go-to, and in the summer months I like a flowy top or a sundress (which, I recognize, is infinitely more girly than the winter attire but also about as effortless as it gets—dresses are one piece, eliminating any need for matching). And let’s not start with me trying to curl my own hair. Why can I do things to other people I can’t finagle on myself? Mysteries.

            

I feel like every time I log on to any form of social media, there are either women who look completely flawless (read: unrealistic), or women doing makeup tutorials. Look, I’ve watched “Ru Paul’s Drag Race,” and after seeing average dudes become gorgeous women, I get the benefits of contouring and enhancing brows. My sister is a makeup aficionado herself and always has that doll-faced look that astounds me.

However, these makeup tutorials are always on super speed with some EDM music in the background and still end up being ten minutes long. I do NOT have time for that routine when I’m tumbling out of bed at 6am. Furthermore, all the contouring and layering results in a different looking person than the one running to the store in sweats and a messy bun on Sunday morning. As I said, my sister is into makeup and said she enjoys wearing it, and that’s wonderful—as long as it’s something women want to do for themselves and no one else, have at it! I enjoy eyeliner in that it makes me look awake and thus a little more human on the days where I’m dragging through in a sleep-deprived state. 

           

Bridesmaid :)

That being said, I do like the occasional smokey eye. Ever since I tried it out for my best friend Liz’s wedding a couple years ago, I love using it as a go-to feminine touch for my standard finger-raked locks and Chapstick. I don’t wear a lot of makeup—I typically keep the routine to a basic neutral eye shadow, signature winged eyeliner, and some mascara. Boom. I like the minimalistic look and sometimes even opt for just a couple coats of mascara (especially when it’s humid outside, because why bother?). However, I’m wont to expand for special occasions, such as the aforementioned weddings, holidays, or date nights where we actually feel like going out. 

I pulled my inspiration from Kristen Stewart. Say what you want about her shrinking violet personality and the Twilight saga, but the girl rocks the smokey eye look better than anyone I’ve seen, and she does it with variety as well as finesse: bold black rocker-chic, turquoise highlights, or neutral browns and greys. I went with the latter for my wedding look, and it’s soft enough for me to recreate every day (though Mary only knows I don’t want to).

         

I don’t use any kind of anything on my face—except for the minor sweep of Cover Girl blush on each cheek to give my Casper skin a glow in the winter. I swear by Proactiv’s three step system—sensitive skin, of course, because I’m allergic to everything—and I finish with their green tea moisturizer for a nice dewy effect that’s also great for my skin. That’s it.

           

I actually made a tutorial for my femme fatale eye shadow routine because sometimes even the chillest chicks like to look a little daintier. J

Thunderstorms & Front Porches

I'm a pretty nostalgia-ridden person. I love the way certain things bring you back to a previous place in your mind. The smell of snow in the atmosphere evokes Christmas and all it encompasses, the feel of low sunlight and Andrea Bocelli brings me back to the summer I was ten, and anytime it storms in the summer, I'm with my grandfather on the front porch at my grandparents' house.

The house is one of those standard older homes, and I spent so much of my childhood there that it's inextricable from my memories. The first poem I ever had published was one I wrote about a tree in the backyard that was actually four trees woven into one, with a perfect spot in the middle for my tiny being to squeeze in to write and daydream. The bush in the front yard with yellow flowers we would pick and throw into jars of water and call it perfume (oh, dear), and the cigar tree in the back yard with the huge leaves we used to think we could string together and make a "flying machine" with to take us around the world. My cousins, my sister, and I were quite characters.

My favorite memory, though was sitting on the porch in those hot hazy summer days and talking to my grandfather, my Puppa. The porch was brick, the awning was burgundy, and the creaking porch swing was one of those green and yellow vinyl numbers from the 1970s, host to numerous behinds, porch-sleepers, and a six-year-old version of me who ate too much pasta and then rocked there with my head in my grandmother's lap until I acquainted that pasta with my pink hi-top Converse.

He was off-the-boat Italian at 13. He fought in World War II. I never heard him say a bad word about anyone. He would sit there, in his chair on the porch, staring straight ahead, hazel eyes, white hair combed back and softly curling, and those blue pants everyone over age 70 owns. Sometimes we would just sit in silence, which was always comfortable. He was a man of few words, but sometimes he would break me out of my reverie to talk.

"What are you thinking about? You always look like you're thinking about something," he said to me once. Perhaps I got that from him.

He shared stories of WWII and life on his little farm in Potenza. He told me about what it was like coming here. We talked about my parents splitting up, and about school, and my dreams to be a writer or a musician someday. Often, my sister and my mum joined us. Nunna would come out and join us too, after the three of them finished their post-dinner cowboy coffee in the old Sands mugs. Occasionally, my cousins would come sit with us too, but I secretly liked best when it was just the two of us. I loved the stories. I loved the companionable silence, or the laughter we'd share watching the neighborhood and all its movements, with the long, lonely train whistle as the soundtrack-- these moments the pulse of my otherwise awkward childhood years, all hair and gangly limbs.

When it would storm, we would sit there and watch the lightening crash and the rain pour, rolling in heavy drops off the edges of the scalloped awning. It was terrifying and awesome at the same time to be so close to something so dangerous. God's bowling, the adults would say, which made it less frightening somehow.

Perhaps this is why I still have such an affinity for people's front porches-- less common these days. This could be why I am drawn to the way the lightening dances majestically across the sky, even as the thunder makes me leap out of my skin. All during June, the heaviest month of storms in a Pittsburgh year, I think of my Puppa and miss him fiercely. When I see the thunder rolling in and I detect that smell on the breeze, the one that means the skies darken to a grey-green and the rain lets go, I think of him and I feel close to him again.

Matriculation, Relaxation, & Chasing Waterfalls

Hi friends! It has been an absurdly long time since I've written anything for this blog. I feel I have a legitimate reason though-- I was going crazy working two jobs and plowing through getting a masters degree in 9 months, and as that was wrapping up I was on the grind hardcore.

We matriculate a lot.

Since graduation has been over, I don't think I've opened my laptop more than a handful of times. In spite of teaching at a cyber school for the past year (with a different laptop), my love of technology has not increased any and having the luxury of unplugging was glorious to me. I got to do so many things I hadn't done: read books I wanted to read (rather than what I had to read), play guitar, fiddle with my new camera, and of course spend time with people I hadn't seen in a while.

Now that that's happened, though, and the school year is over and I'm just writing articles over here, I can get back to blogging on a regular basis (and hopefully incorporate images captured on the aforementioned camera).

With our favorite professor, Dr. Donne

Yes, we wore Converse.

Graduation was a whirlwind, as were the weeks leading up to it. I am so grateful to my huge support system for helping me through it-- especially Shells and my family. Honestly though, although at times we wanted to murder each other for deciding to go back to school (again), I couldn't have gotten through it without my BFF Liz. We endured four-hour night classes two nights a week, suffered online courses, plowed through homework, and motivated one another all while working multiple jobs each and trying to run our households. Even though I completed finals and made Shells swear to me she would never let me go back to school, there was something about watching all the doctoral candidates process in wearing those odd hats that made me contemplate the possibility of someday-- though, dear God, not any day soon.

US side 

Visiting Three Sisters Island

After all of that, I was lucky enough to have three days in a row off of work and Shells took off too and surprised me with a trip to Niagara Falls, which was exactly what I needed to calm my reeling mind and relax with her. Apart from a day trip when I was in eighth grade, I've never been there and I enjoyed it immensely. There is something fun about roaming a city you're unfamiliar with, even for a control freak like me.

Misty Maids 

It was wonderful to walk around in the sunshine exploring with my favorite person. Sure, there are a lot of tourist traps (which we went in primarily to mock) but there is also a lot of beauty. It's crazy to me that that is all nature/God in its glory. Also, I had never ridden the Maid of the Mist and that was the one thing I wanted the most...so we rode it twice (my mum said I was like five years old).

Wistfully gazing at the Falls...

Another thing I noticed while we were there, in addition to the gorgeous scenery and intense crowds and the jokes of my love, was the incredible amount of people taking aesthetic shots in a way that said "hey, I see you trying to get by but IDGAF because I need this same shot with every member of my family, baiiii" so that naturally led to me awkwardly standing there and impatiently waiting and Shells saying "Okay, that's enough" and assertively ensuring we get our turn before our trip is over.

By the end of the first day, as we walked off an awesome dinner-- culinary students delivering five-star dining at Olive Garden prices-- and went back to catch the falls in that lovely low sunlight I am obsessed with, we were taking our own aesthetic shots (partially (mostly) jokingly).

Since then, I've been reading like crazy (I have a shelf waiting for me to read its contents), trying to introduce Zorro to his harness so I can take him outside (he is less than interested), and I planted flowers-- like, from seeds. I feel like a small child because I am so excited each time a new pot starts sprouting. Here's to hoping I don't kill them!!!

Looking forward to everything this summer has to offer and all the beauty that comes along with it. More super soon!

Love,
Rebecca