Top Five Summer Favorites

July is nearly over, but there's still a good month of summer vacation left, so I wanted to share some of my summer favorites with you! This time of year is always pretty low-key for me. I spend a lot of time reading or lounging by the pool (cliché, I know), so most of my faves will be based around that. Light your sun-drenched linen candle (which smells like summer at my Nunny's house) and enjoy!

1) Five Minute Journal: I LOVE this thing. I write in it every morning and every night, and it takes literally five minutes of your life. A few posts back, I talked about my struggle with anxiety. One of the things that I kept hearing about as a way to combat that was gratitude, and while I'm not going to say I am not anxious at all anymore, it's definitely toned down a lot. In the morning, under the inspirational quote or weekly challenge, I have to start my day by listing three things I am grateful for-- and I try to really think outside the box on this. Then I write three things that would make that day great. Sometimes it's "eat healthy and work out" or "don't be anxious" or just "being creative". Then I write daily affirmations to instill positive thinking. At night, I write about three amazing things that happened to me and then one way I could've made the day better. Again, this isn't always earth-shattering stuff. Not every day is me getting engaged at a waterfall or parasailing or something, but the point is appreciating the day-to-day and finding joy in the little moments.

2) DIFF sunnies: I've had my DIFF sunglasses for a couple of years now, and while my exact pair is no longer available, there are other cute style options for different face shapes, as well as blue light and prescription glasses (and a collaboration with the lovely JVN). I wear mine every time we go to the pool. The blue polarized lenses are wonderful, and each pair of glasses is made with one piece of acetate, so they're super flexible as well. With each pair purchased, DIFF makes a DIFFerence (haha) by providing eye exams, glasses, and surgery to people around the world who cannot afford eye care. According to their website, they've provided over a million pairs to date. They're less expensive than designer glasses, and you're giving to a good cause! As someone with atrocious vision, I understand how monumental it is to be able to see and ensure someone else can as well.

3) Summer of '69: Two of my friends and I have an on-again, off-again book club, depending on how busy life is. This summer we picked up with two options for July (and only read one so far, haha). This book by Elin Hilderbrand was such an easy summer read. I tend to gravitate towards non-fiction, but I love when books tell stories from multiple perspectives. Each chapter is a member of the family, and it vacillates back and forth as they weave the story of the summer of 1969. I knew I was going to like it when I flipped to the chapter titles and realized they were all named after some of my favorite songs (I am a flower child at heart). It also hit a soft spot for me because it is centered around the Vietnam War, and how the family reacts to the brother/son being over there. My uncle was in Vietnam, and my mum and her other brother & sister and my grandparents had to deal with that and the aftermath. It is one of the wars where people were not excited to go there, they were mistreated when they returned, and they were changed. It puts in perspective how far we've come with veteran care, even though we still have so far to go.

4) "Queer Eye": I was v. late to this train, henny, but after having multiple people tell us how good it was, Shelley and I quickly watched the first three seasons this past spring. Last night, we finally started season four (okay, "finally" is a bit dramatic, as it just came out July 19th). This is so much more than a makeover show. Sure, they might get a haircut, a new outfit, or an updated living space, but it's really about learning to love who you are and how to let that person shine through instead of hiding. It's one of those shows that actually makes you smile as you're watching it. The Fab 5 put things into perspective, teaching the people they meet to find joy in the little things, be true to who they are, and always utilize the French tuck. I'm big on appreciating the small moments and being authentic, so this is a definite favorite.

5) Kingdom & State swimsuit: Okay, I wasn't trying to make three of my five items have a connection to the Fab 5 but when I was researching this option, I learned the company where I got my favorite swimsuit was actually founded by Tan France back in 2011. The swimsuits are stylish but affordable, and they sell clothes as well. I got the Suzie two piece. I love the gingham detail, the old Hollywood silhouette, and the fact that the high waisted bottoms hide my "loves pizza" area without making me look like an overgrown toddler. The one-piece suits are adorable as well, and the quality is good enough that I know I'll be wearing it for years, which is quite something in this world of fast fashion and daily new releases.

Hope you enjoyed reading my summer favorites-- let me know if you try any of them out! I've linked everything except "Queer Eye" because you can find it on Netflix.

Adventuring in Cape May

I don't know what it is about the beach that I find so alluring. I can't really swim, Shelley and I get eaten alive by bugs, I am fair-skinned, and I get very angsty about all that is unseen in the Atlantic Ocean while we're all floating around in there. Sand gets EVERYWHERE. It's hot. It's crowded. And last summer I had jellyfish stings up and down both legs and around my entire left forearm because I must have wandered, unknowingly, into a bloom of them. Waves literally try to push us back to the shore, like, "Hey, we don't want you here!" and we all laugh and bob back in, pushing our wet hair out of our faces and spitting out seawater and seaweed.

Ready to go!

Cape May, New Jersey 

With all of that, it's actually hard for me to believe that I am so drawn to the siren song of those waves ebbing and flowing to the shore, but I love it. I love the vastness of dark blue meeting the lighter blue of the sky. I love the sand underfoot, and all the colors. I love the salty air and the sun and the way my hair just gets wavy and out of control. I love the kitschy boardwalk sweatshirts and shark tooth bracelets. I love the live music and smells of pizza and funnel cake, and I even the people drinking out of coconuts with little umbrellas in them.  

Shameless tourist (AKA me)

This year, as we're trying to save for our wedding, we aren't going on a big vacation like we usually try to do, but we did seize the opportunity for a weekend away at the Jersey shore. We decided to head to Cape May, where neither of us have ever been but a friend recommended. I was drawn in by the images of old Victorian homes, a lighthouse, and Cape May diamonds. 

Selfie with the lighthouse

Shells walking along the beach 

These colors are unreal!

We drove out late Saturday morning and got there around dinnertime. Our first stop was to ride past all of the enormous houses from the late 1800s and walk along the shore. I was admittedly a little wary, still, of jellyfish that may be lurking close to shore, so I didn't get in as deep as Shells did, but I enjoyed it just the same. We climbed along the rocks and watched people play in the surf and ride by in yachts before heading over to the lighthouse (I blame growing up watching "Murder She Wrote" and all the joys of Cabot Cove for my love of lighthouses) and checking it out, along with an abandoned bunker and a lookout from World War II.

V. excited 

Cape May lighthouse 

For dinner, we went for lobster rolls and local IPAs. Our plan was to spend the first night sleeping near the beach, as is our tradition. Luck was not on our side though-- the biggest heat wave in forever was rolling through and it was like 96 degrees. We got a fan, lots of water, and spent much of that night sitting down by the ocean watching people fish (and only catch copious amounts of trash) while we stared at constellations, talked about life, and watched the waves ripple along the shore.

car camping 

We made it to the car eventually and woke up with the sun changing the rainbow-sherbet-colored sky... and woke up to a flat tire. I didn't believe it when Shelley told me, but there it was, like a cartoon drawing. It was already so hot at 6:30am as she put on the spare and we rode out to Walmart when it opened at 7, already 6th in line, just to get a new tire. (Last year in Myrtle, we had to get new brakes-- my car, Arlandria, apparently does not like road trips.)

Up with the sun & this little guy

FOUR HOURS LATER we were back in the car, heading to the beach. We ended up on Sunset Beach after the other two we tried were packed and required pre-bought tags. We slathered ourselves with sunscreen and dragged our folding chairs down the beach to the surf, where we sat with the water washing around our ankles, just basking in having some beach time before we had to leave. The bugs were relentless, and at one point I decided to wade in up to my knees just to get away from them. I was about to take another step when I heard a kid yell out that he'd gotten stung by a jellyfish! I was outta there! Then it happened to a couple other people as well, so Shells and I busied ourselves sifting through sand on the edge of the water and looking for Cape May diamonds. The fish were jumping in and out of the water like crazy, and we even saw some sharks circling in the distance!!!

Cape May diamonds 

Literally covered in sunscreen :D 

On our way back up the coast, we stopped off at Ocean City because Shells wanted to see the boardwalk. We got Mac & Manco's pizza and toured the boardwalk-- mostly ducking in to the air conditioned shops to get away from the 104 degree sun beating on us. The beach was gorgeous though. It was my first beach I ever went to, and I'm happy I got to share it with Shells, even if it was brief!

At the boardwalk

Ocean City, NJ

Still smiling!

Overall, this trip was pretty eventful-- more than we would've liked, I think-- but I am happy that we were able to look on the bright side, smile, and enjoy our time together at the shore. 

Home sweet home!

Where I've Been

This is one of those posts I've been turning around and writing mentally for a couple of months now.

I have always been two things: a voracious reader, and a cautious person who goes through bouts of free-spiritedness.

When I was a child, I would read books faster than my mum could get them for me. I would finish them within a day and then be clambering around looking for something else to read-- anything I could get my hands on, whether it was the same book so many times I had it memorized, or the outdated, incomplete encyclopedias in my grandma's garage, or my mum's EMT book (a personal favorite for the morbidly curious).

I also spent a lot of time around adults-- listening to their conversations and soaking everything in like a sponge. I have said before that I related better to adults than people my own age, so I would overhear their conversations and process them. This gave me an edge intellectually and also gave me empathy and compassion for all people. As I have gotten older, though, I feel like some memories of those conversations about so-and-so who passed or so-and-so who has this or that illness has sort of moved to the forefront of my mind.

The older we get, the more aware we are of our own immortality. This can be a blessing or a curse. Children have no notion of mortality, and they live every moment freely and fully. Adults tend to think of things in terms of safety, regret, and fear.

I have anxiety. I am a hypochondriac. I have always had tendencies in this realm-- doing everything in my power not to throw up, fearing any ache as something permanent and awful, flashing back to the medical books I snuck reading as a kid. As I have gotten older, though, and new randomness develops (who knew 30 would be quite so different from 20-- why are certain amusement park rights actually just kind of unpleasant now, for example?), I find that increases. As I become more aware of things-- in the news, from people I know, or people of people I know-- I have a hard time not jumping to the worst case scenario.

Over the last couple of years, this has gotten worse periodically, and then recently was to the point where I was in my own head about a headache I had for four days and I was convinced I was dying-- turns out I had a pinched nerve. I spent so much time in my own head over the last year or so that I wasn't being fully present in anything, which is unfair to the people I love and to myself. I would be distracted with compulsively checking things and worrying myself into a tizzy.

One day, I was reading this book called Present Over Perfect, with this water in the background and these white Converse in the center. I have been picking it up and putting it down for a while, every time I would go to the bookstore or see it at Target. Finally, I downloaded it and started reading it and felt I found a kindred spirit. This book is one of those books where you read a chapter or two and stop, not because it isn't good enough to plow through in one sitting, but because it feels like a friendship and you want to savor it. That is the highest praise I can give a book. In it, the author talks about being present over perfect-- how we don't allow ourselves the freedom to live because we worry so much about being perfect that we hold back and don't allow ourselves to be fully present in every moment.

Anxiety makes people feel out of control, and that is the issue-- things we cannot or will not ever be able to control plague our thoughts and we get so caught up in that that we aren't living. I listened to a talk by Brene Brown where she said that joy is the ultimate vulnerability (check it out on Netflix-- she is actually funny). We are always afraid of the other shoe dropping, that things are too good to be true, and so we get hung up in worry and don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable and experience true joy without any fear. I was talking to a friend who said once she got married, her anxiety was worse because of love-- she had more to lose-- and that hit me too, because that is how I feel as well. I am so grateful for the people and experiences in my life, and I know I cannot preserve everything as is forever, but damn, I'd like to try.

I have been reading and talking and meditating (trying to, anyway). I have been praying, a lot, and organizing my life. I have been focusing on being present over perfect, which required a bit of a disconnect from blogging or sharing much (or any) of my life, because I didn't feel I had anything worth sharing.

The more I talk to people, though, the more I realize that everyone is experiencing something, and many people are anxious about similar things, and we are not alone in overcoming this. Everyone is here to share a part of themselves, and even though we may feel that we have nothing new or unique to offer, we do because of who we are as individuals.

I am getting back to what makes me ME-- I am a creator, inspired by the ultimate Creator, and I am going to be present, and never perfect, but raw and vulnerable and beautiful because of it. I encourage you to do the same thing.

I am not sure how I want to use this space yet, but I am thinking that the way I initially intended it-- to share causes and places and people I believe in, to be the bright side of this little corner of the internet-- may be the best way.

Adventure Awaits

Ready to go!

I didn't grow up as part of an outdoorsy family, so I am not really sure where I came from or why I've always had this overwhelming desire to be outside whenever possible. Shelley (who also does not come from nature lovers) was admittedly a little wary of my "let's go on a hike down this random path with no destination" attitude, but has since come along and discovered how much she enjoys it too.

Now we're the people who seek adventures and try to be spontaneous-- I say try because there isn't a ton of freedom to do this while also being a responsible human who was not born independently wealthy. In the last year, though, we have done some pretty cool things, including sleeping on a beach overnight and-- most recently-- winter camping.

Icy Nalgenes 

We were on a hike over the summer and learned of a group that does winter camping excursions, so we signed up for the information session. I had a lot of gear because at one point I planned to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail, which has not happened yet but will one day. This past weekend, we set out for our overnight jaunt in the 20 degree temps.

Our home away from home

The whole occasion was pretty cool. We pitched our tent for the first time-- we got it over the summer and planned to use it in the fall but it was Rain City here the whole time so we never got around to it. We learned about some primitive shelters to make in case of an emergency (praying I never have to sleep in the woods in a lean-to in the middle of winter) and met some awesome people. We learned to start a fire using wet materials from cold, wet conditions, and then used that fire to cook our food. The overall attitude was uplifting and the conversation was good. Shells and I learned a lot as well.

There was a vibe that I found particularly amusing, and it always came about over gear. Everyone is familiar with certain brands and there was the, "Oh, are those Sorels?" about my lined waterproof boots or "We got this at REI" said by a couple I thought had a sponsorship from them, they were so decked out. Some people made their own materials, like a camp stove-- that was cool. And there was our camp stove, a Shelley find from Amazon that cooks three different ways and folds up with its own cutting board.

headlamps and lukewarm cocoa

People shared their adventures and told us places to go, and overall it was nice to get away from it all and stare at the stars near a bonfire, listening to coyotes howl hauntingly in the distance.

Boots and lantern tucked away for the night 

When the time came to crawl into our little two-person tent for the night, the wind decided to pick up and the temperature dropped as it snowed. I spent a good portion of the night waking up not from cold but from fear that one of those distant coyotes were actually not-so-distant and would decide that after eating a ding-dong and some soup by the fire, I would be a tasty little snack. At one point, probably around 4am, the tent blew so hard the material was hitting us in the head. I opened my eye and met Shelley's eye staring at me, and we started cracking up. She said, "Why did it decide to become the blizzard of '19 and why are we not in our warm bed?" and we couldn't stop laughing. We prepared well enough that even though it sounded insane outside and we woke up to at least an inch of snow, we were warm.

Tropical Snowman

Snow!

The next morning, seeing the sun come up over pristine snow was incredible. I know it probably sounds insane, but I am excited to do this again.

As we were leaving, our car got stuck going uphill because of the ice from the night before. Every person with us rallied together-- pushing the car, offering to call AAA, laying down branches for traction, or even just offering snacks and building a  tropical snowman to keep morale up.

The Bright Side: It was incredible to come together with new people and see everyone so willing to help and just be kind. It's important to not judge people based on looks or jobs or who you think they voted for or what lifestyle they have, because in reality people are people and I do believe they are generally good. Oftentimes, it is easy to become despondent in the negativity of news and news feeds, and I am guilty of that as well. This was a good way to detach from that and see the goodness in others in action, and I am thankful for that.

The view from the tent

This is an emergency shelter...

Gathering kindling 

After we rolled and dried out the kindling 

Early stages of our bonfire 

Me & our tent 

That sky!

O Christmas Tree

Allison's Christmas Trees 

I've had this dream for a while now of going out to a Christmas tree farm and cutting down our own tree. My family used to get our trees from the VFD up the street until they stopped selling trees, and then we moved on to Home Depot.

The perfect tree! 

We always had a pleasant experience doing so, but there was something about the idea of truly selecting my own that appealed to me. And yes, I always opt for a real Christmas tree even though they're-- to quote Julia Louis Dreyfus in Christmas Vacation-- messy and corny and cliche. I will never get the dreaded fake tree.




I was driving one day and passed a sign for a place called Allison's Tree Farm. After some research, I decided their prices were comparable and so Shelley and I went to check it out. It was adorable-- as soon as we pulled in, we were greeted by the staff.

Shells cutting the tree 

the shop

They have two options: choose a tree from their pre-cut selection in a lot near the shop or go choose your own and cut it down. They provided us with a saw and a map of which trees are where and sent us to trudge through the rows and rows of pines.

When searching for a tree, my criteria is to get it as close to the tree from the Eat & Park commercial as possible, so that's what we did. All the way down and back, scoping for bald spots or soft needles, standing beside it as a height check.

Finally, I saw one and zoomed in on it like a light was shining, spotlight style. As I'm walking towards it, Shelley pointed out from ahead of me, "What about that one?" and indicated the same tree. It was unanimous. We (read: Shelley) sawed it down and we carried it back to the little shop, where it was shaken, wrapped, and attached to our car.



When we went inside to pay, we perused the ornaments and fresh wreaths for sale. They have tables set up and sell hot cocoa in little paper cups as well. I also learned that for every tree someone cuts down, they plant three more. I am never less of an environmentalist than during Christmas, where I have lights up everywhere and cut a living tree to put in my living room until it dies. Knowing that three were planted in its place assuaged that a bit.

Just grab a tripod and some lights and go!

If you're like me, you put your tree up on Black Friday instead of shopping. If you aren't, maybe you're one of those people who wait until Christmas Eve to do it, or you are just super busy and haven't gotten around to it yet. Either way, I highly recommend stopping over to check it out. Side note: it's also a prime Christmas card photo location.

Zorro's favorite spot

Zorro loves the tree too. We've had a pretty difficult time keeping him away from it (and any attempts to do so have been met with as much sass as a silent ball of fluff could muster). Instead, we just allow him to lay on the tree skirt. I don't really blame him for wanting to be close to the lights and the delightful scent of pine.

My Mother's Hands

I was going to a Friendsgiving dinner, and volunteered to make a pumpkin pie. I made a pumpkin pie from scratch one other time, and it turned out perfectly, with little hand-cut leaves adorning it and a good crust. Another time, I made chocolate pie and the crust was overworked and tough.

I didn't have a pie tin.

It was time to call in reinforcements.

My mum makes the best pie, ever. I've talked a lot about the Homemade Pie Kitchen in Lousiville, Kentucky-- they have a Dutch caramel apple pie that is divine, but it will not outdo my mum's pie (ask Shelley-- she craves Mum's pie all year).

The crust is flaky and a perfect golden shade, with crimped edges. The pumpkin filling is not overpowering. She puts pie crust leaves on top, adorned with cinnamon and sugar (something she used to free hand but now uses a cookie cutter for-- why not?). She did this before the cutesy fads of Pinterest, Food Network, or Youtube and Facebook videos made everyone who wasn't putting on an episode of Martha Stewart Living for each meal feel somehow inferior.

I was at my mum's yesterday, borrowing a pie tin and expecting some guidance on making a pie, and she ended up making it for me. Gently moving me aside, she mixed the crust, not overworking it, and then rolled it out with an old wooden rolling pin. As she began her technique for pinching the edges to form her tell-tale look, I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture. She asked if it was to remember the technique, and I said no.

"I have peasant hands," she said. Totally deadpan, and I cracked up. She has small hands with little fingers, and those hands aren't the lily white hands of someone who has never done any work. They are, however, something more.

Her hands are the hands that tirelessly brushed and braided my hair until I could manage it on my own.

They are the hands that held mine as I learned to walk, write, feed myself.

Her hands are the hands that made dinner every night, and baked hundreds of cookies every Christmas as a way to stay close to her mother, who I never met.

Her hands created I Dream of Jeannie's hat for my Halloween costume out of a sour cream container, or magic wands for me, my sister, and the kids in the neighborhood with pencils, ribbon, and Pringles lids.

Her hands made magic with money that was barely there in order to feed us, clothe us, house us, and still give us Christmas presents and birthday cakes and little things here and there.

Her hands folded together to pray and teach me to do the same-- to ask for grace, to be thankful for what we had, to bless the people in our lives.

Her hands reached out and felt my forehead when I wasn't feeling well, checking for a fever before whipping up chicken soup with dumplings.

Her hands clapped hardest for me when I walked across the stage to get my diplomas, particularly the first master's one. She was the only one there for me that day, but I got that degree as much for her as for me-- it was our moment, anyway, one we could both be proud of, and when I saw her beaming and clapping for me, no one else mattered anyway.

So yes, her hands are small and "peasanty" as she says, but they are beautiful and tell a million stories and will tell a million more. Oh, and the pie turned out great too.

Top Five Fall Fashion Must-Haves

In spite of the fact that it snowed on Saturday and has been getting colder and colder outside, I am still determined to hang on to fall. It arrived late this year and peaked quickly. Suddenly, Thanksgiving is almost upon us and I have barely gotten to enjoy my favorite of all seasons (and let's be real, as soon as the pumpkin pie's gone, I will be in full-on Christmas mode).

Today, I want to share my top five essentials for the tail end of fall-- these are things I've gathered over the years and absolutely love. They carry me from fall to winter seamlessly.

1) Vans SK8 MTE Boots: Anyone who knows me knows my obsession with Vans-- they are the ultimate shoe choice for me. I like a good boot as much as the next person, but these allow me to carry Vans over into the winter. I've even worn them hiking a few times and they hold up. They're waterproof and lined AND have traction. Plus, the buffalo plaid on my pair is necessary. I got mine a couple years ago at an end-of-season sale, but regardless, they hold up well and are cozy.


2) Old Navy's fleece-lined jeans: I have recently come to appreciate Old Navy's stuff. After years of my sister and my best friend both talking about the wonder and joy of Old Navy jeans, I decided to give the rock star jeans a try. I was looking for fleece-lined leggings to wear UNDER jeans (as much as I hate feeling like Randy in A Christmas Story, I hate being cold even more) and I found these, and since they were supes on sale I decided to give it a go. I've never really found jeans comfortable, but these are a game changer (and I will definitely be wearing them to Light Up Night).

3) Lodge Socks: I believe these are technically called cabin socks, but somehow Shelley and I decided they're lodge socks, and so they shall remain. We were out shopping one day and found these socks. Since then, we have acquired a few pairs each. These, also, are helpful on all of our wintery jaunts into the woods, but they're also just really cozy on our nights by the fire as well.

VICI sweater 

4) A good beanie: I love hats. I have never been one of those girls who can pull off a baseball cap (I have too much hair and it just is not a good look) but I do rock beanies, berets, and wide-brimmed hats pretty well, so I don't even care. Everyone needs a good beanie, and the cool thing is the variety. Cuffed, pom, slouchy, homemade? They're all fun and cute and, most importantly, warm. I have a decent assortment I rotate through. When I was a teen, I was very anti-hat for some reason, but I'm so glad I've come around just in time for them to really have their moment.

5) Oversized sweaters: This is another one of those things I was very against when I was younger. For some reason I literally despised sweaters or anything that wasn't a button up (I blame the Catholic school uniforms I wore from preschool through 12th grade). However, they've become a go-to. There's nothing easier than grabbing pants, Vans, and a baggy sweater to roll out of the house and still look put together. I like Dottie Couture or VICI for sweaters (sales, free shipping, and coupon codes make everything better) but I've also found some good ones at Target too (because, honestly, is there anything they DON'T have?!).

Let me know if you love/try any of my fall favorites!