I could barely sleep the night before. I had heard about cold feet and remember laughing when my sister told me the previous May that she was nervous but excited about her upcoming nuptials.
“Nervous?” I’d texted back. “Why? You live with Jason, you love him. What’s really going to change?”
“I don’t know. You’ll see. It’s just different,” she’d said. (“Better” she told me later.)
As I sat there on the old twin bed at my mum’s house, rereading my vows for the millionth time, I texted my sister: “You were right. I’m so nervous. Why am I nervous? We have been together for six years. This engagement has been going on since December 2018.” But still, butterflies were soaring through my stomach.
I woke with the sun the next morning, dark circles under my eyes, and spent the day trying to calm myself down— unable to eat much, unable to settle, unable to focus on anything.
I delayed too long in getting ready and ended up running about a half an hour behind (I’m sure those of you who know me are all shocked to read that). Shelley, meanwhile, was there about a half hour early. I told her to go somewhere else until I showed up because we couldn’t cross paths at the Wildflower Reserve— she couldn’t see me!
When my mum pulled in to the parking lot, she and I ran for the interpretation center and the ranger, our friend Shane, got us set up in his office so I could get changed into the new dress I’d picked for the day. My blue items were the ribbons I’d tied to my bouquet, my old blue ballet flats, and the gems on the comb for my hair. My borrowed item was my grandmother’s wedding ring set that I tied to my bouquet, and I even ordered an official six pence for my shoe.
While I was bustling around and trying not to throw up from nerves, my friend Liz, who was marrying us, and Lindsey, our photographer. ran interference and helped Shelley pin her boutonnière on and get into place.
I led Mum to the trailhead I’d decided was my aisle, and as the music started (which we could barely hear), we began to carefully pick our way through the roots and plants to the designated spot. There was a certain point when the trees opened up and I saw Shelley standing there.
At that moment, I couldn’t remember what I’d even been nervous about. Something clicked into place, like two corresponding puzzle pieces, and everything was clear in my mind. I couldn’t wait to get to her, and that was the most important thing— so much so that I admit I left my mother in the dust and all but ran to my fiancée’s side.
The actual elopement was possibly the most perfect and beautiful moment of my life— sharing my heart with someone who was also pledging her soul to me. It was intimate and blessed and joyous. It was exactly what we wanted, and the golden light filtering through the trees in our favorite place made everything feel so complete.
Afterward, we quickly set up a picnic table with some cheesecloth, twinkle lights, and battery-powered votive candles to set some ambiance. Our gorgeous cake was made by our friend and pastry chef Selina, and we toasted our marriage with sparkling apple cider in the vintage glasses I found on Etsy.
We couldn’t stop smiling and holding hands and just experiencing the joy that is so extensive it manifests by bubbling over in laughter. Lindsey Zern, our photographer, captured every moment so beautifully.
Shelley and I treated ourselves to dinner at Monterey Bay and enjoyed complimentary champagne and dessert and anticipated our very early morning flight to Laguna Beach for our honeymoon.
Because of the pandemic forcing us to postpone so many times for the safety of ourselves, our family, and our friends, this just made sense to us. We wanted to be married, and we are so happy with the decision we made last September.
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| Cutting our cake |
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| Love is love. |
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| Sharing my vows |
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| The bouquet I made |
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| Of course Shelley makes us laugh |
